his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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