I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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