I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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