Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
