she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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