Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
