i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
