I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
