can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
