You just made me feel so damn special
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize