Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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