i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
