Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
