did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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