: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
