then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
