I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We got so high we made milksteak
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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