I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
