They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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