we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
