It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
