just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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