He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
