Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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