Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
