Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
