The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
