remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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