I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
