I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
