I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
