please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize