went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
