i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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