everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
