Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
