Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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