i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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