I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
