we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
