bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
