he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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