She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
