She's JV to your varsity
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
