you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
