my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
