areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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