remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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