Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You're like the curious george of whores
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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