so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
