Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
