just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
