I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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