come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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