It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
