she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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