the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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