If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
